Thursday, August 03, 2006
Learning Mindfulness the Zen Way
Fighting w/ Long Weapon. Photo from International Sportchanbara Association's Web Site.This title may sound misleading, but it's how I feel today.
I just came back from another gruel sword session with sensei. Today was extremely special. Unexpectedly special because I didn't know beforehand that the kids' session would be cancelled. This means I had the 2 hours and a half to myself!
This in turn tranlated to be one of the heaviest training I ever had with sensei. Oh, but how I LOVED it! I got to learn to be mindful of my own body and mind constantly. Both during the battou jutsu session and the intimidating chanbara duel with sensei afterwards.
I started to get used to the sound of my own panting inside the head gear by now. It was not as scary as in the beginning. But one thing remains the same, both my hands are heavily brusies. Well, I just have to put ice packs over them tonight and tomorrow all day again!
Progress? Well, I got to hit sensei several times today. But I think he sort of deliberately made an easy opening for me to try to hit him. Otherwise it would be a sad one-sided affair for the whole session. And I think sensei sensed that I badly wanted to score at least a point to gain some self-confidence after all these bruises.
I mean, I couldn't protect myself against him at all! I couldn't see where his sword was coming from! I got hit all over, my headgear, my arms, my legs, but mostly both my hands. Although sensei made us changed the hand that we hold the sword once or twice during the rounds that we did the duel, it didn't help.
I found out something new about myself, though, that I could handle the sword in my left hand, too. Somewhat faster than my right, even, although not as fast. Interesting. Something I could develop on, I guess. And also I found that the dodging skills I tried to imitate from NHK's boxing training TV show also helped me escape sensei's formiddable head-hit several times! I think the technique is call V-ping or something. Definitely not Weeping! Should practice more on that, too.
Oh, my knuckles hurt! Time to put my hands in the ice bucket! Sigh...now, I really can't see myself going for World Championship, frankly. I was well aware of the fear in my mind during the duel with sensei. And I made a note of that. I must try to go over that mental barrier if I want to make progress. I was afraid of the pain, most of all. But, hey, you can't blame me for that! If you used to duel with the grand master and got injured before, your subconscious mind sort of hold you back, you know.
I must overcome that fear somehow. I was telling myself to think like samurai, using Zen technique, or vipassana technique, they are all the same. That is, only focus on the present. Samurai has no past, no future, only the present. And the present has no pain (yet). So, with that thought, I moved ahead and made daring attacks and was able to score some points against sensei, at last.
So much more to learn. So little time.
